Girl Crush: Nicki Minaj

It seems fitting on this day, a Friday, to profile an album called Pink Friday. This record is not new — it was released almost a year ago — but it’s one that I’ve been listening to a lot lately for a couple of reasons: 1) the songs are really good, and 2) I am slightly obsessed with Nicki Minaj.

It’s not often that I buy an album without knowing any of the tracks, but that was the case here. I can’t remember why I picked it up — I knew very little about Minaj, other than the fact that she has a RIDICULOUS ass.

Like, seriously, look at this thing:

You’re kidding right? It’s padded, right?

It has to be padded. It HAS to. I don’t believe it’s not.

Anyway, here’s my review of Nicki’s music and her sartorial sensibilities:

THE MUSIC

You guys, this is seriously a very good album. The first few times I heard it there were a couple of songs that didn’t grab me right away, but I’ve listened to it enough times now that I don’t want to skip past those tracks any more because I’ve found bits in them that I appreciate and in some cases have even kind of grown to love. This is the power of Minaj’s personality — she really is utterly adorable.

The album starts off with a great track, ‘I’m the Best,’ in which Nicki lays out her reasons for why she’s awesome and is going to take over the world. I believe her, and I seriously want to be hanging out with her right now in “Australia, Sydney, might run up in Disney, out in L.A. with Lindsay”. I just like the way she structures her rhymes — there’s all these little Nicki personality quirks (good ones) jumping out all over the place.

The second song, ‘Roman’s Revenge’ is one of the ones I didn’t love at first. It’s a collaboration with Eminem and man, dude is angry and misogynistic in this one (more so than normal, I think, if that’s possible) but there’s this bit where Nicki goes “Raah, raah, like a dungeon dragon” and I swear to god it is the weirdest, cutest thing I have ever heard. There’s also a bit where she adopts a fake British accent and refers to herself as a boy named Roman and honestly, it’s all totally odd but also oddly charming.

Other standouts include: ‘Right Thru Me,’ which I just remembered is the reason I bought the record, because I saw her performing this song on SNL and loved it, ‘Fly,’ a soaring ballad with Rihanna, and ‘Check It Out’ with will.i.am which is probably my favourite track on the album. That’s saying a lot too, because it samples ‘Video Killed the Radio Star’ by the Buggles which is seriously one of the best songs of all time (The Finn and I love it so much that it was the first dance at our wedding) and I am generally rather dubious of people sampling classic ‘80s tunes. But as far as I’m concerned will.i.am never met a pop song he couldn’t make into a ridiculously catchy guilty pleasure, and the sample works well here. Less successful, in my opinion, is ‘Blazin’ with Kanye West, which samples Simple Minds’ ‘Don’t You Forget About Me’. The sample doesn’t really work in this case, but the song does contain the amusing lyric: “I’m the best now / Anybody with some money should invest now / Soccer moms need to organize a pep ral”. Kind of awesome.

In summary, this is a highly enjoyable record and Nicki Minaj comes across as fierce, badass, and more than a little eccentric which are all good things in my opinion. Not your typical pop tartlet, I guess is what I’m saying.

THE STYLE

This is where Minaj completely & totally kills it for me. Seriously, she is just absolutely whacked out of her gourd when it comes to getting dressed every morning. Witness the following exhibits:

The woman has leopard print hair, people.

What is this? Seriously, what???

In a sea of freaks, Nicki out-weirds them all.

Pink-cotton-candy-Bride-of-Frankenstein ‘do? Sure, why wouldn’t you?

Come on now. It looks like she mugged a box of Nerds candy. If loving this is wrong, I don’t want to be right.

This one is my favorite, and utterly perfect as far as I’m concerned.

Here’s the thing: when it comes to pop stars, I don’t want them to look like models or fashionistas. I don’t want them to be tasteful and demure. I want them to look completely insane (see also: Cee Lo Green performing in armored chicken suit at the Grammys).

Right? Come on, you love it!!!

Here’s the other thing: for all her bizarro fashion styling, there’s no denying that Nicki Minaj is totally gorgeous.

Look at that face. Stunning.

So that’s why I have a Girl Crush on Nicki: she’s got a beautiful face and a truly crazy ass, and she’s got the talent to back it up. LOVE.